It has been a very busy few months; some major blessings and some major challenges. 

On Sept. 26 my mom celebrated her 60th birthday in Las Vegas with her sisters; shortly after her trip she became ill with what was diagnosed as a kidney infection but the medicines didn't seem to help.  On Oct. 12, she went to the hospital anticipating that she had kidney stones rather than an infection; but she was diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer later that day.  Since then her kidney, spleen, and adrenal gland have been removed at Barnes is St. Louis.  A biopsy on her lung shows that the cancer has spread.  We anticipate that she will begin chemo treatment in pill form next week (four weeks on two weeks off).  My mom had me at 17 years old and has worked her tail off to provide for me since then; she has never smoked and doesn't drink alcohol so we are hopeful that her body responds well to treatment.

During this time, we were blessed to have an exchange student from Guatemala stay with us.  She arrived on Oct. 19 and went home Dec. 9.  Sofi and her family are wonderful people and I look forward to having some lifelong friends. Claudia (Sofi's mom) spent one weekend with us and it was great, I felt an instant connection to her.  Sofi's visit provided a much needed distraction from all of the medical issues and we enjoyed taking her to Kansas City, Iowa, and St. Louis.  Now we communicate via skype and email.

My dad's health continues to deteriorate; he is only 59 years old but his heart ejection fraction is just 15%.  He is now under observation to see if he is a candidate for a defibrillator.  His health history of liver failure, aortic aneurysm, and having his first heart attack at 40 years old always seems to amaze the doctors.

Our family has a big year ahead with Shelby graduating on May 11.  We ask for your continued prayers with all of the challenges and celebrations this year will bring.  My original purpose of this blog was a lenten journey, but from now on I will use it to update friends and serve as my own sort of "therapy".  And of course, I will have to share some pictures.

My mom in the purple with her sisters and mom.

With Sofi at the farm.

Shelby's senior picture

With Sofi at the Plaza in KC

Brickfish Social Media: Shelby's Va Va Bloom Room

Brickfish Social Media: Shelby's Va Va Bloom Room

Time to play catch-up!

It has been several months since my last blog...I started it for lent and then stopped, but I miss it.  So I am at it again.  The last three months have been BUSY.  I received my Masters in Education, our town remembered the one year anniversary of the tornado, and we have watched many softball games.  An added bonus of softball is that we are able to keep in touch with people; my cousin Monica and I have not kept in touch very well and it has been literally years since spending time together; luckily she has a softball player so we have been able to see each other and catch up.  When things like that happen, I always ask myself WHY did we lose touch and WHY didn't I take time to see her!  Chloe became a teenager.  Our family visited Big Cedar Lodge for a week in June; next to the beach it is our favorite place to vacation.  While on that trip, we discovered geocaching and have been doing it as a family hobby.  Last week we took a "one day vaca", as we call it, to Tulsa and visited the aquarium.  College is on our mind a lot these days and Rick has developed a spreadsheet for Shelby to weigh her options.  Rockhurst University is her number one pick at this point.  We have visits scheduled for Fontbonne, Lindenwood, Washburn, and Newman University. 

I am keeping this blog short and adding some pictures; just a catch-up and a promise for more frequent blogs. 

Rejoice and Remember

Easter is a time to rejoice and remember.  I have done a lot of that over the last few weeks. 

Easter weekend I rejoiced for many reasons.  My daughter got a new car, she found a prom dress, and we spent lots of time with my mom, dad, grandmas, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  We watched Granny Harvill hunt Easter eggs as if she were five years old.  Alzheimer's is a strange disease, but sometimes forgetting that you are old is not so bad. 

Remembering where you come from!  There was a time in my life when I didn't necessarily think it was important to think about my past.  Maybe when you are over 40 that changes.  This week brought back many flashbacks.....Thursday night we left the ballpark in Carthage at 9:45; I was craving a Nacho Bell Grande.  I normally don't eat Taco Bell, and I didn't that night either, but there is a story.  When I was a teenager, my mom and I worked at a softball complex.  We reported every night at 5:15 and worked until about 10:00.  I started working there when I was 14 years old; we worked concession or kept score, and every night when we left there we went to Taco Bell.  Today, as I write this, we have been "rained out" for our weekend tournament.  When I was young, I longed for "rain outs".  They were unexpected nights that I got to spend with my mom; we usually went shopping or out to eat. 

Rejoice and Remember.....

Sometimes life is a roller coaster!

Up and Down.....that has been the mood at our house for the last week or two.  We returned on a great high from our awesome Spring break trip, but were quickly met with a sad reality.  Our dog had become more sick while we were gone. After two weeks of him not eating or walking, trying some different medications, and lots of consultations with our vet we decided on Saturday to have him put to sleep.  It was such a sad morning...... but get ready, here comes the roller coaster.  Chloe competed in a regional math competition that morning and earned FIRST PLACE!!!!  She will compete at the state competition on May 5.  After math competition in Carl Junction, we drove to Farmington, Ar. for a softball tournament...........Saturday our team was 3-0.  But remember...........this is a roller coaster, Sunday we lost two heart breakers in a row! 

This life does have days, weeks, and months that seem like an ongoing roller coaster.  Thankfully when we get off the roller coaster and look back at what we have done, it is usually a good feeling.  And, more often than not, we would do it again!

One of the best days ever!

Today, the official 3rd day of Spring Break 2012, was one of the best ever.  I have such great friends and so do my children.  We are blessed with just the people around us; the great things we get to do are icing on the cake.  "A picture says a thousand words"; therefore, I need to say nothing more.

SEVENTEEN!!!!

I can't believe I am the mother of a seventeen year old child.  (My dad did remind me as I celebrated that she is the exact age he was on the day I was born. Ugh!)  She is such a blessing.  I am amazed each day at the person she is becoming and I pray numerous times each day that she continues to make good choices.  I still refuse to believe I am that old....but some days I look in the mirrror and I totally see the age. 

My unexpected blessing these past few weeks has been something very rare...college algebra!  Who would have thought a nasty math class would be the reason that my daughter and her dad have spent SO much time together.  It really has been refreshing to see them sit at the bar together day after day and night after night; even most of the day last Saturday (they spent the other half of the day car shopping..another Ugh!). 

Happy Weekend!

It is the weekend....Yay!  We spent the day shopping in Arkansas.  Just the girls and I.  Rick stayed home...I graciously shared the virus that I had last week, so he has been "on the couch".  Today made me ponder this thought..if you shop, and find good stuff at good prices, but don't really need the stuff...is it success?  I don't know the answer, but I do know that we are more than ready to pack for our trip.

I am so thankful for the blessings and opportunities in my life.  Tonight I talked to my dad for a while and made plans for Shelby's birthday.  I am amazed each time I get to talk with him or spend time with him; he has truly changed his life, and in the process changed mine.  For those who don't know, my dad has been an alcoholic for most of my life.  Three years ago his liver failed; he was close to death several times.  He made the decision at that time to never drink again and he has been sober for more than three years.  I can't even type this without smiling; I am so lucky to have this time with my sober dad.  As for my mom, she is just amazing.  I was born when they were in high school; neither one of them graduated.  They married shortly before I was born and were divorced before I was five, yet they still talk every week and help take care of each other.  When I say I am blessed, I mean it. Not many people have this kind of story.

Saturday Shopping

Today we went shopping...and let me tell you, it was hard to see the beauty.  I was shopping for a swimsuit.  The beauty, however, was in the fact that I was shopping for our Spring break trip to the beach and that I have the opportunity to go and to take my children.  You see, at their age I had been out of the state three times: to Tulsa to visit a friend of my mom's, to Waco, TX on a Greyhound bus, and to Yakima, Washington....also on a Greyhound bus (both trips were to visit family).  I stepped in the ocean for the first time after I had my second child.  So the beauty in today is that I can offer my children so many experiences and I get to go along on the ride. 

We finished the night watching Coach Carter.  The following quote is one of my favorites:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love

First Friday

Sometimes when we look around to see the beauty, you have to look at people.  I have a very interesting job working with a wide variety of people, even though it is in a very small town.  One thing that constantly amazes me is the resilience of people, especially young people.  When you really get to know about someone, and really consider their background, you are sometimes amazed that they have turned out to be the people they are.  I am so, so proud of so many young people I know.  They are not young people that I can brag about because of confidentiality but when I look around and try to see the beauty, I don't have to look very far.  The beauty of perseverence sits right in front of me.....working hard, being great moms, overcoming negativity and sometimes horrible conditions that most of us have no idea exist.  Beauty... doesn't always fit our traditional definition, but it is beautiful all the same.

As for myself, I will see the beauty in my job and the opportunity to work with so many different people.  I wanted this blog to be titled "Go make a difference" but that title was taken (along with about 30 others I tried).  I originally chose that title becasue a professor dismissed my class last week saying "now, go make a difference" to a group of teachers.  It reminded me of a song we sing with youth group......"Go make a difference, we can make a difference, go make a difference in the world".  Really, what more could I want out of my day than to make a difference in someones life.  Maybe, with the grace of God, I will make a difference every day....I just want it to be a positive difference.

Ash Wednesday!

I am still getting used to the blogging thing and I really want my blog to have music, so bear with me if I post some odd links for a while. 

Some very wise young people I know recently posted a quote about things being hard...and if they were never hard, we wouldn't know when it was easy.  So essentially the difficult things in life make us thankful for the things that are good.  Being sick is the same, when we are sick it makes us thankful for all the times we are healthy.  The bad give us a new appreciation of the good.  Lent can be same, those people who have chosen to give up something for lent (like chocolate, wine, or coffee) will find great enjoyment in having them after Easter. Or....they may find out that they didn't miss them that much. 

For myself, I think the blog will work.  I concentrated very hard on the way to work this morning looking for the beauty in my surroundings.  I actually did enjoy the look of the bare trees with the sun shining through them.  How can bare trees be pretty, I don't know but they were. 

As for enjoying things once they are gone......I will enjoy this cold very much...when it is GONE!  Happy Ash Wednesday!

Fat Tuesday!

Blogging for lent!  Somewhat unconventional I would say, but I am not one to give up pop, candy, chocolate, or any of the other things I enjoy so much.  I would rather make a committment to become a better person, change a bad behavior, or become more aware of the blessings around me.  This blong is meant to do just that, I hope to spend more time reflecting on my life and the world around me.  The world is an amazing place, and even on the worst of days, there is good to be seen.